Wednesday, April 4, 2012

This feeling has swallowed me whole, and I know that I've lost control

"I'm just lost, incomplete, yeah you feel like home, home to me."


8.   Realizations


Okay, this post will be a bit more uplifting than the previous one.  For once I'd rather talk about how things are working out rather than how they aren't. Funny, right? Yes, right.  Well a few of my previous problems have... not necessarily been totally fixed, but have been, let's just say, altered.  


There are those times when people just come to terms with everything that's happened and how they've acted and I feel as though I've come in contact with multiple in the last couple of days. It's fantastic.  Girl wise, self wise, and a... certain boy wise.  Not the stupid " boy friend " i've been talking about. He's still an ass.  Anyways.


I get a text, the first coming to terms moment *pause for angel chorus* apologizing for the drama that's been caused in our group of friends, and apologizing for making little things such a big deal. Like, finally. you realized.  Now I don't feel like a bitch for thinking it, because you--admittedly-- know it too. So yeah.  The girl fight, as well, has dwindled out which is good and creates a lot less awkward ness at group meetings and such. So good.


Now, the second appointment, per say.  As you may or may not know, I can't recall if I've ever talked about him, but my ex boyfriend and I weren't on good terms.  We went through a very messy break up last August. Not good. Anyways, ever since the break up, I've been hoping he'd realize that maybe he made the wrong decision. Maybe he'd come back. But he didn't.  And there are always times when I think that I miss the way things were, but then I remember that everything happens for a reason.  Well then I receive a text a couple nights ago, from him.  Mind you, I haven't spoken with him since like November. So it's been awhile.  He told me that he was sorry for everything that happened and he would really really ( yes bold is needed ) would like to be friends.  As you can probably tell by how I'm writing I was shocked.  I thought we were a lost cause.  So maybe, just maybe. This could be a new chance for us.  He dated another girl for like the month of December and she posted all over Facebook and Twitter how in love they were. And I knew in my heart that it wasn't true. There was no way he could love her.  Turns out, he told me, she was a rebound and he didn't know what he wanted. He was conflicted.  Moral of the story, he apologized for everything that happened. And we're currently working on a friendship.  And who knows, maybe the over used quote "Two exes trying to be friends were either never in love, or still are" may be true... Anyways, excited none the less. I'll keep you updated. :)


Finally, have you ever had the feeling that you were somewhere where you belonged? Where you're finally in a place where you feel like you could be forever?  Well, I recently visited the place such as that.  It was a magical place and while overwhelming and such a new experience but thrilling at the same time. Unbelievable, honestly.  These three interactions have brought such interesting views to my mind the past couple weeks I've just been so happy.  And might I say, it's about damn time.


Okay, that's it.
Laterrr.


"All those smiles will never fade, never ran out of ways to blow my mind."