"All this time we were waiting for each other, all this time I was waiting for you."
5 ; Boy friends, cont.
So if you've been reading my posts, you've seen my previous post ( #2 ), about " boy friends ", and if you haven't, I don't mean boyfriends , I mean boy friends ( two words ) .
Have you ever had the feeling that when you're talking to someone, they don't really want to talk to you? Well, I'm sure you have.. most people have. But especially when it's someone you look forward to talking to. I've been feeling this way towards the same "boy friend" as before. Most of the time when he's talking to the girlfriend. I understand that he wants to talk to her and whatever, but when you spend the entire day with that person, I think a couple minutes talking to your best friend wouldn't hurt you too badly.
Or do you feel that you're always trying harder than another person to create conversation? Like you're always the one to text them first, or message them or tweet them, however you communicate. But whenever they want to complain about this, or about that or need advice on this, they can talk to you. No problem. The thing is though, you shouldn't feel "annoying" when you're talking about your problems. You shouldn't have to feel like they don't really care about what you have to say.... but you do. You do feel that way.
The worst part is: they don't even realize it's happening. You're too "nice" to say anything about it because you don't want to mess things up even more. You simply tell yourself, "Oh, they're just going through a hard time." or "He's just tired today." Or God knows how many more things you convince yourself. You shouldn't have to convince yourself, thats the point. If they were as good of a friend to you as you are to them, you should feel comfortable talking to them, or complaining to them as they do to you.
Short. Sorry. See ya.
Okay, that's it.
Laterrr.
"You say I'm lucky to love something that loves me, but I'm as torn as I could be."
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Saturday, February 11, 2012
My will is weak and I'm falling again.
"You'll be the last one picking up the pieces, you'll be the last one standing up strong."
4 ; Stupid people & New friends.
Well starting out with stupid people... Well, I don't even know where to start. People just seem to amaze me. Like, the stuff that goes through people's minds. The stupid crap they say and what they do as if they don't know you're going to find out. You sit there and take in this crap from a person as they're sending flirty texts and calling you "qt" and different pet names, etc and saying this flirty stuff. You don't necessarily know how you feel about them, but you're flattered nonetheless. ( By the way, this has been going on for a couple of months, even while the boy had a girlfriend ).
So you're good friends with this person, and they're texting you, so then you get asked "What are you doing on Tuesday?" ( Tuesday is Valentine's Day ). So I reply "I'm not sure yet, why? What's up?" and he says after a little conversation, "Well I was wondering if you wanted to go out that night, maybe for something to eat?" So I'm again, flattered and taken aback, but happy nonetheless. So you tell him "Maybe, I'll see." And the next day, where new friends comes into the play; but I'll discuss that later. So you're talking to your new friend who you both commented on the same guy's picture. As you're talking, she's telling you about how much he texts her and the stuff he says to her ( which is similar to what he says to you ). You're stunned, and then they tell you that he wants to hang out with her but she's not too fond of him, and then she reports the most surprising news of all: "He asked me to hang out on Valentine's Day, but I told him no."
Like are you serious? It's not like I was like hoping he was going to ask me out, but at the same point I don't want to be the "second choice", you know? LIke nobody wants to be the second option and then you feel like crap when that happens. All the appeal and the "cuteness" from the way he asked went down the drain. It's ridiculous. So you're day is now down the drain as the one person who can boost your self esteem, in a way, let you down. Ugh. And then he texts you, "Hey, how's it going?" You're a bit upset and hurt so you answer with a "Hi..." and he can tell something is wrong, so he asks and asks again, but you try to convince him that "I'm fine. Really." But I'm not... Do I call him out on it? "Hey butthead, I'm your second choice? Cool. Maybe next year." That'd just be weird. So your'e confused and don't know what to do. Which sucks. Stupid people.
And now, new friends. As in the person I previously spoke of ( aka: the bearer of bad news ). Have you ever had that feeling where you have the weirdest feelings and thoughts towards a person, but then they become your friends? Well I've had this happen recently. I became friends with someone I never would have expected and it turns out we have a lot in common; we've dealt with similar situations and so we can understand each other a little better. It's nice, because even though your friends try to be supportive a lot of times they can't completely understand. So it's nice. And we've become very close in the past month or two and we enjoy gossiping and such.
However, because she's dealing with a situation that you previously dealt with, how are the feelings shared? Is she jealous because you had what she wanted? Are you jealous because she now has what you lost? Who's jealous of who? Where did the little green monster go? You don't want to be jealous because you want her to be happy but at the same time, you can't help but feel anything else. And you find out she is jealous of you, because you-- at one time -- had exactly what she wants, and what she wanted. So you both cross your fingers and hope for the rest, but right now it's all up in the air.
So having your newfound friend let you in on a secret about an old friend ( aka Stupid People ) is hard to deal with, yet it's better you find out now rather than later. And I'm speaking in the second person, using "you" where of course I mean me, because I'm speaking about my feelings. Haha, okay.
Okay, that's it.
Laterrr.
"I'd get back up and try to make things right if you'd just stay here tonight."
4 ; Stupid people & New friends.
Well starting out with stupid people... Well, I don't even know where to start. People just seem to amaze me. Like, the stuff that goes through people's minds. The stupid crap they say and what they do as if they don't know you're going to find out. You sit there and take in this crap from a person as they're sending flirty texts and calling you "qt" and different pet names, etc and saying this flirty stuff. You don't necessarily know how you feel about them, but you're flattered nonetheless. ( By the way, this has been going on for a couple of months, even while the boy had a girlfriend ).
So you're good friends with this person, and they're texting you, so then you get asked "What are you doing on Tuesday?" ( Tuesday is Valentine's Day ). So I reply "I'm not sure yet, why? What's up?" and he says after a little conversation, "Well I was wondering if you wanted to go out that night, maybe for something to eat?" So I'm again, flattered and taken aback, but happy nonetheless. So you tell him "Maybe, I'll see." And the next day, where new friends comes into the play; but I'll discuss that later. So you're talking to your new friend who you both commented on the same guy's picture. As you're talking, she's telling you about how much he texts her and the stuff he says to her ( which is similar to what he says to you ). You're stunned, and then they tell you that he wants to hang out with her but she's not too fond of him, and then she reports the most surprising news of all: "He asked me to hang out on Valentine's Day, but I told him no."
Like are you serious? It's not like I was like hoping he was going to ask me out, but at the same point I don't want to be the "second choice", you know? LIke nobody wants to be the second option and then you feel like crap when that happens. All the appeal and the "cuteness" from the way he asked went down the drain. It's ridiculous. So you're day is now down the drain as the one person who can boost your self esteem, in a way, let you down. Ugh. And then he texts you, "Hey, how's it going?" You're a bit upset and hurt so you answer with a "Hi..." and he can tell something is wrong, so he asks and asks again, but you try to convince him that "I'm fine. Really." But I'm not... Do I call him out on it? "Hey butthead, I'm your second choice? Cool. Maybe next year." That'd just be weird. So your'e confused and don't know what to do. Which sucks. Stupid people.
And now, new friends. As in the person I previously spoke of ( aka: the bearer of bad news ). Have you ever had that feeling where you have the weirdest feelings and thoughts towards a person, but then they become your friends? Well I've had this happen recently. I became friends with someone I never would have expected and it turns out we have a lot in common; we've dealt with similar situations and so we can understand each other a little better. It's nice, because even though your friends try to be supportive a lot of times they can't completely understand. So it's nice. And we've become very close in the past month or two and we enjoy gossiping and such.
However, because she's dealing with a situation that you previously dealt with, how are the feelings shared? Is she jealous because you had what she wanted? Are you jealous because she now has what you lost? Who's jealous of who? Where did the little green monster go? You don't want to be jealous because you want her to be happy but at the same time, you can't help but feel anything else. And you find out she is jealous of you, because you-- at one time -- had exactly what she wants, and what she wanted. So you both cross your fingers and hope for the rest, but right now it's all up in the air.
So having your newfound friend let you in on a secret about an old friend ( aka Stupid People ) is hard to deal with, yet it's better you find out now rather than later. And I'm speaking in the second person, using "you" where of course I mean me, because I'm speaking about my feelings. Haha, okay.
Okay, that's it.
Laterrr.
"I'd get back up and try to make things right if you'd just stay here tonight."
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Sometimes life ain't all that it's cracked up to be.
"Let the music take us away, take our minds to a better place."
3 ; Best Friends , eh.
Best friends... we all have them. Love em. Hate em. Live with em. Live without em. You know all the cliches. Second half. Sister. Etc. They're the people you can share ANYTHING with. Well, depending on how good of best friends you are... My best friend and I share everything, our "experience", the drama, the bs, etc. We've been best friends since elementary school and know almost everything about the other person. And like I've said before, they can be different sex relationships; as in a boy friend & a girl friend. They can share stuff too.
It's a relationship that most people can't understand. Where they make up nick names for certain people, and use keywords to remember stories that are too important to tell over text -- and you know our generation, god forbid we use a phone to actually call -- . You go everywhere with them, because you enjoy spending time with them. You hang out with their families because they consider you "one of their own". Their siblings are sick of you because you're like the extra sister they never wanted.
You share some friends, and you share experiences from boys and relationships you've both had. Sometimes you relate, and others you can only imagine. You're there through the break ups, and the heartaches. You sympathize with them as they realize they've simply been used. You convince them that college boys will be much better than high school boys, although you aren't quite sure about that yourself. You know, typical best friends.
But what happens when your best friend seems to go out of the ordinary. You feel like you've created a monster. Not literally, just a lot different than before. What happens when all the guy friends you had become her friends. No big deal right? But when the friends stop acknowledging you and only notice her. They always give her a wink, or say hello as if I weren't even standing there. Like, "Hello, I was your friend first. And I'm standing right next to her." But it's as if you don't even exist. Your guy friends text you in order to get to her. Or to try to get information about her. First of all, if you were my friend you wouldn't only text me to talk about her. And second of all, she is my best friend. I'm not going to tell you ANYTHING, if she wanted to tell you, she would. And also, because she's my best friend, I'm going to tell her everything you just told me. If you don't want that, don't talk to me. Easy as that.
So then you feel invisible. And you know darn well that you aren't, but it simply feels that way when even your own friends cease to acknowledge you when she's around. You ever feel invisible around your friends? You want to be happy for her, but at the same time.. I don't know.
Again, just food for thought; ranting about things that my friends and brother, don't want to hear about anymore.
Okay, that's it.
Laterrr.
"Cause everybody needs to break free from reality."
3 ; Best Friends , eh.
Best friends... we all have them. Love em. Hate em. Live with em. Live without em. You know all the cliches. Second half. Sister. Etc. They're the people you can share ANYTHING with. Well, depending on how good of best friends you are... My best friend and I share everything, our "experience", the drama, the bs, etc. We've been best friends since elementary school and know almost everything about the other person. And like I've said before, they can be different sex relationships; as in a boy friend & a girl friend. They can share stuff too.
It's a relationship that most people can't understand. Where they make up nick names for certain people, and use keywords to remember stories that are too important to tell over text -- and you know our generation, god forbid we use a phone to actually call -- . You go everywhere with them, because you enjoy spending time with them. You hang out with their families because they consider you "one of their own". Their siblings are sick of you because you're like the extra sister they never wanted.
You share some friends, and you share experiences from boys and relationships you've both had. Sometimes you relate, and others you can only imagine. You're there through the break ups, and the heartaches. You sympathize with them as they realize they've simply been used. You convince them that college boys will be much better than high school boys, although you aren't quite sure about that yourself. You know, typical best friends.
But what happens when your best friend seems to go out of the ordinary. You feel like you've created a monster. Not literally, just a lot different than before. What happens when all the guy friends you had become her friends. No big deal right? But when the friends stop acknowledging you and only notice her. They always give her a wink, or say hello as if I weren't even standing there. Like, "Hello, I was your friend first. And I'm standing right next to her." But it's as if you don't even exist. Your guy friends text you in order to get to her. Or to try to get information about her. First of all, if you were my friend you wouldn't only text me to talk about her. And second of all, she is my best friend. I'm not going to tell you ANYTHING, if she wanted to tell you, she would. And also, because she's my best friend, I'm going to tell her everything you just told me. If you don't want that, don't talk to me. Easy as that.
So then you feel invisible. And you know darn well that you aren't, but it simply feels that way when even your own friends cease to acknowledge you when she's around. You ever feel invisible around your friends? You want to be happy for her, but at the same time.. I don't know.
Again, just food for thought; ranting about things that my friends and brother, don't want to hear about anymore.
Okay, that's it.
Laterrr.
"Cause everybody needs to break free from reality."
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