"You'll be the last one picking up the pieces, you'll be the last one standing up strong."
4 ; Stupid people & New friends.
Well starting out with stupid people... Well, I don't even know where to start. People just seem to amaze me. Like, the stuff that goes through people's minds. The stupid crap they say and what they do as if they don't know you're going to find out. You sit there and take in this crap from a person as they're sending flirty texts and calling you "qt" and different pet names, etc and saying this flirty stuff. You don't necessarily know how you feel about them, but you're flattered nonetheless. ( By the way, this has been going on for a couple of months, even while the boy had a girlfriend ).
So you're good friends with this person, and they're texting you, so then you get asked "What are you doing on Tuesday?" ( Tuesday is Valentine's Day ). So I reply "I'm not sure yet, why? What's up?" and he says after a little conversation, "Well I was wondering if you wanted to go out that night, maybe for something to eat?" So I'm again, flattered and taken aback, but happy nonetheless. So you tell him "Maybe, I'll see." And the next day, where new friends comes into the play; but I'll discuss that later. So you're talking to your new friend who you both commented on the same guy's picture. As you're talking, she's telling you about how much he texts her and the stuff he says to her ( which is similar to what he says to you ). You're stunned, and then they tell you that he wants to hang out with her but she's not too fond of him, and then she reports the most surprising news of all: "He asked me to hang out on Valentine's Day, but I told him no."
Like are you serious? It's not like I was like hoping he was going to ask me out, but at the same point I don't want to be the "second choice", you know? LIke nobody wants to be the second option and then you feel like crap when that happens. All the appeal and the "cuteness" from the way he asked went down the drain. It's ridiculous. So you're day is now down the drain as the one person who can boost your self esteem, in a way, let you down. Ugh. And then he texts you, "Hey, how's it going?" You're a bit upset and hurt so you answer with a "Hi..." and he can tell something is wrong, so he asks and asks again, but you try to convince him that "I'm fine. Really." But I'm not... Do I call him out on it? "Hey butthead, I'm your second choice? Cool. Maybe next year." That'd just be weird. So your'e confused and don't know what to do. Which sucks. Stupid people.
And now, new friends. As in the person I previously spoke of ( aka: the bearer of bad news ). Have you ever had that feeling where you have the weirdest feelings and thoughts towards a person, but then they become your friends? Well I've had this happen recently. I became friends with someone I never would have expected and it turns out we have a lot in common; we've dealt with similar situations and so we can understand each other a little better. It's nice, because even though your friends try to be supportive a lot of times they can't completely understand. So it's nice. And we've become very close in the past month or two and we enjoy gossiping and such.
However, because she's dealing with a situation that you previously dealt with, how are the feelings shared? Is she jealous because you had what she wanted? Are you jealous because she now has what you lost? Who's jealous of who? Where did the little green monster go? You don't want to be jealous because you want her to be happy but at the same time, you can't help but feel anything else. And you find out she is jealous of you, because you-- at one time -- had exactly what she wants, and what she wanted. So you both cross your fingers and hope for the rest, but right now it's all up in the air.
So having your newfound friend let you in on a secret about an old friend ( aka Stupid People ) is hard to deal with, yet it's better you find out now rather than later. And I'm speaking in the second person, using "you" where of course I mean me, because I'm speaking about my feelings. Haha, okay.
Okay, that's it.
Laterrr.
"I'd get back up and try to make things right if you'd just stay here tonight."
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